I call it an appling hook. Like a grappling hook, but for apples.

appleAah! My last post got a lot of new followers to the blog. Thanks guys! You’re awesome! I guess people benefited from my sage advice. I really should charge money for this.

I’m feeling a bit of pressure to deliver something worthwhile for the new folks, to prove their click of the follow button wasn’t just a freak finger spasm. But what should I post about? I decided to compile a list of ideas for future blogging. They are:

  1. Apples! What are my opinions on them?? How do they work??
  2. A tutorial for how to put your pants on without getting one leg stuck in the hole and falling over. Still haven’t mastered this but perhaps I can blog about the learning process.
  3. ………….
  4. Apples again????

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Tips on Writing REAL Real Good

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Okay, writers. Grab your electrolytes-infused sports drink, because we’re about to karate chop some GREATNESS into your manuscript! Right now your “story” may feel more like a BORE-y, am I right? But with these ten simple tips, your book can become the belle of the bookshop, guaranteed.

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Everyone, meet Zalea.

Zalea, this is everyone.

2015-04-17 zaleaCharacter portrait by yours truly.

Zalea is the second-most main character in the fantasy novel I’m working on. She’s part of a race of humans blended with tree elements (inspired by the dryads in Greek mythology), who can manipulate the growth and shape of botanical life. She has brown skin scattered here and there with wood knots, and hair the same color as the fuschia flower that grows from her tree branch horn. The rest of her people have symmetrical antlers that stretch outwards above their heads, as a tree would – Zalea here is the only one with the curled horn on one side. The others poke fun at her for it, but she doesn’t mind; she laughs along. 🙂

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Sunlight on her wrist

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Sun came in through the blinds as she laid in bed, casting a band of light directly down the center of her wrist. As if she had sliced herself and found golden light underneath. She laid there, that dreamy morning, and imagined that we are all full of light. Not blood, not tissue, not bone, but rays of sun. Maybe that’s what people are looking for, when they hurt themselves. Maybe they want to see that there is still a glow, just a small one, still there, hiding beneath the surface.

Post-conference updatage

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These past two weeks have been quite the whirlwind. Hmm, you know what, I’m a writer, I can come up with something more original than “whirlwind.” These past two weeks have been quite the… party girl on her fifth tequila spinning around on the dining room table.

Not as catchy. “Whirlwind” it is!

And really it’s been more like a brisk breeze but come on guys, I’m not a perfect-analogy MACHINE here.

So, what’s been going on?

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Conference? More like PROference!

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The SDSU Writers Conference was this weekend, and it was absolutely fantastic! I was so amped up I couldn’t sleep. Stay asleep, anyway. The first night I conked out at 10:30 and then woke up at 3am, my brain cutting off my sleep like a bartender cutting off a drunk. “Alright buddy, you’ve had enough.” Four and a half hours is the equivalent of a couple a’ beers in this metaphor, and I’m no lightweight. I can hold my sleep. So really braintender, what gives?

But anyway, let’s start at the beginning!

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Next time, muse, I’ll need to see a doctor’s note

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It’s one of those days again. You’ve sat down at your desk, all set to work, but… Groan. Your muse has called in sick. Last time it was a dead car battery, and before that, the dog ate its homework. Whatever the reason, your muse is gone and you’re left high and dry.

Yup, it’s that infamous writer’s block. Here is a list of handy solutions for the next time it happens to you.

You can…

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In exactly one week…

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…I will stepping through the doors of the SDSU Writer’s Conference.

Cue the Lamaze breathing exercises: HEE HEE HOO HOO…

And maybe some flailing. But as I always say, better to flail and face your fears than to hide and not flail at all! (She said bravely, while her arms whirled above her head like knee socks in a wind storm.)

But seriously, I’m really excited about it. The flailing has subsided now that I’ve got almost all of my preparatory tasks handled. And how! I handled ’em so hard, they filed an assault charge against me. BUT I HANDLED THAT TOO.

I signed up to have the first ten pages of my novel, Milo and Violet, critiqued by two literary agents. I’ll be getting feedback straight from The Agent’s perspective. This is a huge deal! It’s coming at the perfect time too, because I haven’t cast out any queries yet. I’ll be able to fix what needs fixing before any envelopes are licked.

Basically what I’m saying is I’m stoked. 🙂 Friday, January 23rd! Count it down!

Conference website: http://www.ces.sdsu.edu/wc

Startin’ blogs and takin’ names

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Alright, first entry to this blog! I’m pumped, are you pumped? Let’s do this.

So what is this blog even about? Well, I write stuff. You know, words and things. Sentences even! The “About” section will give you a more in-depth vision of who I am and what I do, but essentially I’m an author of novels, short stories, essays, and poems. This blog will be my way of getting some of my material out into the world, and sharing my experiences as I venture down the path of submissions, queries, and publication.

Well, I suppose that’s enough for a first post. I certainly don’t want to keep you. Things to do, places to be.

… Oh, that was basically just one paragraph? Man! Writing is hard!

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