Next time, muse, I’ll need to see a doctor’s note. (Repost)

writers block

It’s one of those days again. You’ve sat down at your desk, all set to work, but… Groan. Your muse has called in sick. Last time it was a dead car battery, and before that, the dog ate its homework. Whatever the reason, your muse is gone and you’re left high and dry.

Yup, it’s that infamous writer’s block. Here is a list of handy solutions for the next time it happens to you.

You can…

1) Bang your head against the wall a few times!

2) Practice your sorcery by summoning inspiration! Results may vary but standing on your desk and waving your arms a lot can help. (Mind the pencils.)

3) Complain to everyone who will listen (or who can’t find the exit fast enough) about your writer’s block! Respond to all attempts at sympathy with “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

4) Go on a juice cleanse! Consume nothing but fluids for an entire week to release toxins and spiritual blockages. At the very least, the light-headedness from lack of food will distract you.

5) Steal someone else’s work and call it your own! Wait, no, don’t do that, I WAS KIDDING.

6) Put your work aside and go have, like, actual experiences for a while! (Hey, now we’re getting somewhere.) These experiences can spark ideas you never would have thought of, or at least give you a rest. You’ll come back to your story as refreshed and rejuvenated as a woman in a skin care commercial.

7) Write something else for a time! A different story, a different genre, even simply a different scene. Force your brainwheels out of their ruts by setting them on another path entirely.

8) Read some awesome books by awesome authors! Let them inspire you. Give the authors a mental high five and imagine them giving one back – a really good one too, the kind where your palms line up perfectly and make that really sweet, loud clap.

9) Fire your muse completely! Just write. Get the words on the page and improve them later. You have creativity in your blood—it’s why you started writing in the first place. Your passion will return. In the meantime, just write.

10) And lastly, if all else fails, remember that you could get run over by a truck tomorrow! Nothing gets the fingers typing like existential panic.

line break 3

(This post originally went up in Jan of 2015.)


6 thoughts on “Next time, muse, I’ll need to see a doctor’s note. (Repost)

  1. Some great (and often hilarious) advice in this post! Can’t believe you’ve only been at this blog malarky for less than two years. I discovered (to my horror) that my first ever post on my first blog (the afrowelshman) clocks in at an amazing 8 1/2 years ago!! Hopefully I’ve improved since moving to WordPress 🙂

    Your words, as always, are a joy to read Shannon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Nik! Glad this gave you a chuckle as much as it did me. 🙂

      Whoa! 8+ years, that’s a long time! How has your blogging changed between then and now? Were you posting regularly that whole time?

      Even though technically I started this blog in Jan 2015 it feels like less, because I updated pretty infrequently the first few months. Wasn’t til June I think, when I got in the swing of things.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I went through bursts of productivity but certainly wasn’t anywhere near as regular as I have been since setting up my wordpress site. Looking back I wrote just over 170 posts in the 6 years or so of the older sites. It was more about trying to be funny and less about actual quality and there were almost no stories. Kind of my initial outlet for scribbling but most of it doesn’t stand up brilliantly today I have to say!

        If you balance it up against my current site, I’ve written nearly 160 posts since I started in Nov/Dec 2014. I also managed 11 followers on the old blogger page and am now closer to 150 – however that’s also to do with me becoming a more active commentator on other blogs I think. Biggest change really has been in my approach – I treat every post with the same respect I give a story. I try to make it as good as it can be even if it’s on a silly subject! Also, I think (naturally) my writing in general has improved and has settled into some sort of rhythm.

        I’m pretty sure I’ll be kicking around on it for another 8 years whatever happens!


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